I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
