Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
time to smoke my breakfast
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
this is an emotional support booty call
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize