I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
