ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
