I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
