He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
