Dual....:-)
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
