no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I currently don't understand fingers.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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