Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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