I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
