I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
