with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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