I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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