beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
