did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize
