Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
