that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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