The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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