well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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