I want to make a zoo with you.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
