Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
My legs feel like baby dolphins
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Randomize
