guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
