Well apparently he's into motor boating.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
