I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
dude. I can hear the air.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
