i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
