so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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