I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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