oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
