i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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