Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
