just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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