apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
