your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
