I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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