Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
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I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
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She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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