So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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