If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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