so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
