she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
