People with herpes should wear stickers.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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