Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
