I feel like I'm in dance class right now
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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