I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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