Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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