what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
