never play flip cup with pint glasses
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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