she looked like the bat from fern gully.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
