my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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