I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
