did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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