Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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