i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
