you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
