True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
