You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
