Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
