Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
