the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
no you cant smoke seaweed
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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