I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
