You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
