It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
