Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
