I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
