i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize